Joanie's Joint
Random Thoughts by Max McInnes

Thoughts on Chyna's Book, The XFL, Wrestlemania Tickets, Triple-H, Flair & More from the man formerly known as "The Straight Shooter."


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DISCLAIMER: The views expressed in this column are not necessarily those of Chyna Central or its webmaster, Robb Michael. The key word here is "not necessarily." Think about it.

Random Thoughts: Chyna's book, XFL, Wrestlemania tickets, HHH vs. Flair, & more!
By Max "Fomerly the Straightshooter" McInnes

Those of you who regularly visit Chyna Central (& really, who doesn't?) are probably thinking "why did you change the name of your column after the first installment?" Actually, you may be thinking "after I finish reading this stupid thing I'm gonna go have sex with my grandmother". Regardless, I basically decided that "Shots" was a really sucky name, fair enough? On to the column!


Five hundred dollars for Wrestlemania tickets? What do you get, a lap dance from Chyna or something? I realize that the WWF needs to make money, what with them having to buy Jerry Lawler a new pair of pants after every segment that invovles any of the WWF "divas", but five hundred dollars? Honestly, I have to say that I don't think it's worth it folks. Especially when you consider that everyone in the front row at a WWF or ECW event seems to have a strange disorder that causes them to yell unintellegably, make homely faces whenever the cameras on them, & basically act like druken lunatics. I remember once when Stephen Hawking was front row for an episode of Raw & he got naked & threw up all over Jim Ross. It still gives me nightmares.


Here's a quick quote from Chyna's new book - "...she lined us up, Great Santini-style, with our nipples wired to a 6-volt car battery & our feet in a tub of water, with her at the switch." Bet you're wondering what the context of THAT was, aren't you? If that doen't make you want to read that thing, then nothing will.


Okay, I hate football but I managed to catch the tail end of the XFL's inaugural game on NBC & it made me wonder a few things. First, Jesse Ventura is still the Govenor of Minnesota, right? Well then does he ever, y'know, GOVERN? He should seriously consider giving it a try. After all, he couldn't possibly be any worse at it then he is at broadcasting. Also, shouldn't it really be the EFL? Oh, that's right. Correct spelling isn't "xtreme".


I've noticed that alot of the so-called "smarts" out there have been saying that Triple H is the Ric Flair of the modern era. Someone needs apologize to Flair for comparing him to an overrated bodybuilder who's primarily known for his entirely knee based arsenal, crappy entrence music, & appearnces in homoerotic ads for Weider Sports Supplements. Gee, I bet I'll get alot of sympathy for that comment.


Does anyone else think that Vegas & Atlantic City should take bets on pro-wrestling? Considering that Austin, Rock, & Goldberg each wrestle two times in an average week, I'd never have to work again!


That's it for right now. Expect to see another column up soon, seeing how Robb & I have come to an agreement that if I start actually sending him my stuff on time, he'll stop sending me naked pictures of Jim Ross. If you're really bored you can send your praise or hate mail to Later.

Got a question or a comment for Max? E-mail him here.

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